The mountains….

We are driving to Chattanooga today so visit the aquarium and do some other family things.

The morning drive has been beautiful and comforting.

We just stopped at McDonalds for breakfast. Nooni has done wonderfully.

Chattanooga is only about a two and a half hour drive from Nashville, but this is her first time taking any drive over about half an hour.

Our vacation is very short. It would be wonderful to be able to take a week in the mountains, and we will certainly begin saving for that. But, for now….this fits perfectly.

I pretended to be asleep.

My dad called this morning. I ignored it.

Then I heard my husband speaking English in the other room and figured out that my dad called him, and he answered.

I pretended to be asleep because I knew he’d bring the phone to me..and he did. Ugh.

So, I took the phone and told him I’d been sleeping and that’s why I didn’t answer.

He didn’t ask about Nooni. He asked if I could get him pain pills. I’ve been in recovery for almost 3yrs now (something like that). Why does he still think it is acceptable to call me and ask for drugs?

Because he is an addict. And his addiction has ALWAYS come first.

The thought of me putting in effort to find pain pills, and then go drive somewhere to get them, with my child in the car, obtain said pills and then drive with illegal narcotics in my car, with my baby in the back seat, to get the pills to him…..makes me sick. It makes me physically ill to think about.

I can’t understand why my father is still doing this, lol. I feel awful for ignoring his calls and stuff but it’s self preservation at this point.

Even during my addiction I had a sense of what was morally right or acceptable behavior and I actively tried not to cross that line. But, I guess that is rare in an addict.

I just wish that I didn’t have to ignore my dad’s calls. I wish that I could answer, and hear him ask about his granddaughter.


Mornings with my love

Saturday mornings are the best. Nooni usually wakes me up around 7. I make her bottle, my chai, I go back upstairs and turn on Peppa Pig and we have our breakfasts.

Then we play.

This morning we yelled into the oscillating fan and laughed as it came around and blew wind into our faces.

We got tired around 9am and took a nap in the rocker. When we woke up, we yelled into the fan some more. Nooni loves yelling into the fan and knows just the right time to yell so that her voice sounds funny.

I love Saturday mornings. I love every morning with my lovie dovie.

Now we have Miffy on. Miffy is Nooni’s absolute favorite. We just can’t find as many Miffy episodes as we can Peppa.

Being a mother is the best.